The worst airport in the world…

… is freakin JFK freakin International freakin Airport in freakin New York City!!

Know why???

Because they treat every traveller like a common criminal!

So I reach home after a long long trip from Trinidad to Dubai, and notice my zips are not in the place where I had left them, tucked down into the righthand corner of the bag. That’s strange, I thought. So I plopped the bag down, and ta daa! What do I find? That I’ve been punked by the US Transport Security Authorities, and they opened up my bag, busted open all my stuff, and left a nice little note as an apology.

..

Patriot Act, in effect. Thanks George W. Bush.

“Dear traveller”, the note said, “since you come from a relatively poor and dangerous cocaine smuggling country, we thought we would take a few minutes to crack open your suitcase and look through all your stuff. Oh, and the nicely packaged bags of Hong Wing Coffee that were carefully wrapped in newspaper and plastic bags, well they looked suspiciously like packs of cocaine, so we sliced them open to check. Turns out it was delicious smelling coffee instead. Sorry if you got coffee all over your clothes in your suitcase. Oh, and sorry about your bottle of pepper sauce too. We hope you have enjoyed this latest installment of the Patriot Act, which allows us to do whatever we want to do to people coming through our country. See ya!”

Or, something to that effect.

Sigh.

You see me and you, JFK? We done. That’s it. This relationship is not working out. I know you have a foot fetish, but I am getting real sick of having to take off my shoes every time I see you. I mean, at least give us a little carpet to walk on nuh, those tiles are damn cold! I am tired of everyone being treated like a suspect. And the time when I had a little stick of lip balm in my pocket, and the woman at the metal detector felt my pocket and asked me to take it out, when I said ‘it’s lip balm’ she didn’t understand my Trini accent and replied, ‘it’s a lip WHAT?’ and then forced me to put the lip balm (not BOMB) through a metal detector. And this rubbish about water bottles, when is it going to end? This is for sure the last time I go through your horrible stinking airport with its filthy bathrooms, disgusting fast food, and grouchy security personnel! Next time, I am flying through nice, clean, peace loving TORONTO!!!!!

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12 Replies to “The worst airport in the world…”

  1. I agree.I made up my mind several years ago that i would spend extra money,if necessary,to avoid ever going through the US again.Americans are such a bunch of fffnnnn assholes.Ems Dad

  2. I’m so sorry, and for them to cut open the bags seems a little extreme especially when they have drug sniffing dogs, etc. Thinking of you.
    Eileen

  3. hah hah, US Customs and Border people in Ft Lauderdale, does searh your luggage, squeeze out your toothpaste, open yuh crix biscuit and tear pages out of your books in the suitcase

  4. Sorry to hear what they did with your bag, and to leave such a note, like we need to be reminded of the crime on our country. Luckily i dont travel much anymore and when you come into Croatia they dont even search you!

  5. It’s been a long time since I last flew into and out of JFK. But when it comes to Worst Airport my vote is for Miami international. The Homeland Security people…..well more like Beats, treat you as though you are guilty until proven innocent.

  6. Dear Trini, well I hve being intransite in TnT many times. and the thing is piarco airport makes me sick with there security checks.

  7. I got a major brace in Miami while on my way to Flagstaff because I had two pieces of luggage and I was only going to be there for seven days. Dude asked me why I had two bags? My response, I did not want to risk going over the weight limit with the airline( this was before AA started to add on baggage fees). He still pulled me aside to a room where my bags were checked, my documents and passport were examined with extremem scrunity before I was allowed to go on with my trip. After that I have vowed to N-E-V-E-R fly through Miami International ever again!!

  8. Your own Piarco Airport Security staff also needs special mention…. They sometimes behave like they more security conscious than the Americans… Or they just want to seize people stuff.

  9. Oh man, for sure Piarco is the pits! They built that MASSIVE airport and then still have one chupid choke-up room for the baggage arrival, no room to line up… lawd I remember waiting an hour and a half one Christmas to get through the customs line after picking up the baggage! Yes, Piarco is ALSO on the list of worst airports!

  10. Piarco is something of a damn it I must situation…last time I was there, I was questioned over my floss…the individual ones…and the lady proceeded to spill them all over the counter as she searched my bag for possible weapons. Needless to say this was after my bag was two days late and I had three trips to the airport. Thank God I had clothes in my carry on too!

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