The worst hotel in Okinawa

Booking a hotel on a website like Asiarooms or Booking.com usually is a safe bet, thanks to traveller’s reviews, ratings and pictures, which often show the true likeliness of a place, rather than the sunny glow of a professional photographer’s lens which has been hired to make a piece of shit look like a pretty nice place to stay.

That’s why I’m surprised that the hotel we just stayed in during our trip to Naha turned out to be SO BAD. How can a hotel that bad actually get reviews like ‘good’ and ‘big rooms’, and an overall guest rating of 7.5 out of 10?

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This hotel was so bad that when I came back to Hong Kong, I wrote a really bad review of it, and sent in my bad review to Booking.com.

When you do a review, they ask you two fill in two things — one box is the things that sucked, and one box is the things that you thought were good.

What did I find today when I saw the website?

Booking.com only shows you the good reviews! The bad reviews are nowhere to be found.

Of course, this is their business — to sell hotel rooms. So naturally they aren’t going to make it easy for you to find the bad things that people say about shitty hotels.

So, here’s my honest opinion of the hotel, with no editing or manipulating by Booking.com.

HOTEL PEACE LAND

Hotel Peace Land is a stone’s throw away from the Tomari Port in Naha which transports tourists to the nearby islands.

Where there is a port, there are sailors.

Where there are sailors, there are whores.

Where there are whores, there are love hotels.

And I have a feeling that Hotel Peace Land, once upon a time, might have been a dodgy love hotel.

There are a few reasons for this theory (which, of course, I can’t prove, but I’m going to stick with it, because my gut instinct tells me so, and it is rarely wrong).

1. The reception is on the 2nd floor, which is the norm for love hotels, to protect the privacy of guests.

2. The rooms have windows that cannot open

3. There is, for some reason, in every room a ridiculously ginormous, hideously coloured bath tub.

(Number 3 is really the thing that convinced me.)

To wash away all the filth, perhaps?
To wash away all the filth, perhaps?

Staying here actually made me feel dirtier. I’ve stayed in a lot of crappy hotels over the years, and this one was not even the worst. But quite frankly, I’m too old for this crap. I’m too old to stay in an uncomfortable bed, in a noisy assed hotel, where the paint is chipping and the metal in the bathroom is rusting and the windows are being held closed with three plastic locks and therefore the wind sneaks in all night. Not to mention the hotel for some reason offers FREE laundry, so the laundry room is going all night long, with the thonky-thonky-thonk sound of laundry going around and around in the machine.

To be fair, the staff were pleasant, the breakfast in the hotel restaurant was quite good, and the restaurant was clean. But the rooms were awful, and I’d never want to stay here again.

When you walk into a hotel room, your heart shouldn’t sink. You should smile, look around, and say ‘ahhh, yes this is nice.’

If you don’t feel that way when you first go into the room, RUN!

I hope this little review helps someone else whose trying to book a hotel in Okinawa right now.

And don’t trust the reviews on Booking.com!!!!!!

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